Okay so the title of this post may be a misnomer since the journey actually started back in January of 2010. So at this point I'm suspecting someone out there is wondering what journey am I talking about. Great question! Gold star to whoever had their hand up first. Well the journey I am referring to is my weight loss journey and more specifically, my weight loss thru surgery journey.
After years of my weight increasing and me getting bigger and bigger I actually realized just how big I had gotten. I know that sounds crazy. I admit it does. But it's the truth. I really never realized how much weight I had put on.
If we take a look back 10 years ago I was graduating high school (go Dickinson Rams) and starting my college career at UD (BLUE HENS!!) and I was a size 14/16. And today I'm a 28. Crazy right? I never really weighed myself back then so I can't really say how much I was back then but today I wear 384lbs. YES 384 that wasn't a typo. That's bigger than most NFL players!
Feels kind of crazy to have typed that. I'm not sure where this blog will travel and whether I'll share it with folks but I image and I will and it's kind of crazy to think that everyone (aka the world wide web) will know my weight. I wasn't even going to share the fact that I am getting gastric bypass (I'll go further into this as this is the point of this blog) but the more I thought about it the more I realized that I wasn't going to tell people because I was ashamed and a little nervous. What if i got this surgery and people judged me? Or what if I got surgery and was still fat? These are all thoughts that entered my mind. But you know what...Pride and shame will keep alot of ish bottled up and hold you back. So today when I hit the "post" button and this thing goes live this is me taking one step towards declaring and decreeing some things.
I am fat! No surprise if you know me. And on December 20, 2010 I will be getting gastric bypass in an effort to lose weight. The goal of this blog is for me to write about what I'm experiencing and feeling or whatever else I may want. I can't promise you that I will be entertaining or educational but I can't promise that I will write from the heart!
Good luck. I'll be thinking of you and here if you want to chat anytime.
ReplyDeleteI remember my exact realization moment and when I decided to make some changes for me. Unlike you, I didn't tell anyone. If you don't tell anyone, there is no one to hold you accountable, which makes it that much harder to head towards your goal.
As much as you promise to write, I promise to read, and support, and lend an ear. Congrats on taking the first steps on your journey.
i'll read too!!!
ReplyDeleteYou're brave. I'll be praying for you.
ReplyDeleteI'll be along for the journey Jen....by blog...and by real life.
ReplyDeleteSpeaking of keeping things bottled up and letting things out, this blog entry by one of my faves may give you an interesting perspective on opening up.
http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2009/07/21/how-to-decide-how-much-to-tell-about-yourself-on-your-blog/
Anyway...Congrats on the blog and peace and blessings with your transition...
Love you Jen! :-)